Clallam Bay (A Fresh Start #2) Read online

  Sulking, I set aside a few cookies for my impatient neighbor who’d given me the idea in the first place. He was right. If I had to be remembered as anything by these kids, I wanted it to be nice.

  “These for your neighbor?” Amber grabbed a cookie and sat at the kitchen table to pick at it.

  “Yeah. I’m just going to run them over. I’ll be quick.”

  “I’d say so since he’s not there.”

  I gave her a look, having seen his truck sitting in the driveway when I came home earlier.

  “His truck’s there, but he’s not,” Amber said as if she’d read my mind. “Some brunette swung by earlier and picked him up. He really gets around, huh? I’ve been thinking about how to tell you all day.”

  She almost seemed relieved. Relieved but sorry about it.

  I shrugged. “Then I’ll just drop them off.” Grabbing the plate, I headed for the front door. “I’ll be right back.”

  The screen door slammed shut behind me and it made me feel a little better. I considered dumping the cookies in the trashcan outside his house, but didn’t. I set them down on the porch like I had every other time before because I wasn’t mad at him. Why would I be? But I was beginning to wonder if he would ever be there to accept anything I made for him in person.

  When I got back Amber had another pack of Doritos waiting for me on my spot on the couch. I grabbed them and gave her a kiss on the head before heading to bed.

  I was over today. Tomorrow had to be better.

  *

  “What exactly do you wear to a bonfire on the beach? Shorts? Jeans and a sweatshirt? Flip flops or an actual pair of shoes?”

  “Whatever you want, I guess.” I personally didn’t know because I’d never been to one. Sonia’s bridal bonfire would be my first. I was glad Amber was here to go with me.

  “Well, what I want to wear is a little impractical. I’m pretty sure it’ll be too cold for my new bikini.”

  “Yeah, definitely.”

  I thought having a late night beach bonfire on a Wednesday was a little impractical, too. People had to work the next day. I had to work the next day.

  Amber and I settled on oversized sweatshirts and leggings. We decided flip flops were the most practical choice of footwear before making the windy trek down to the beach. The fire was already set and whipping in the wind when our feet hit the sand. We got a drink then joined Sonia on a piece of driftwood.

  “I was beginning to think you girls weren’t going to show up.”

  “We couldn’t decide what to wear. We’re new to the outdoorsy thing. The only parties I’ve ever been to have been indoors,” Amber said. I was just glad Sonia was the only one around to hear it.

  “So where’s Jason? Shouldn’t you two be attached at the mouth or something? Isn’t he leaving tomorrow?”

  Sonia nodded and took a sip of her drink before jutting her chin. “He’s over there with the guys. I figure I’d give him some space since I’ll soon be sucking out all the fun,” she said, but I had a feeling they weren’t her words.

  We did our best to keep her occupied until her brother Sean walked by. She called him over.

  Like Sonia and Jason, Sean had pretty caramel skin and dark brown eyes. He was tall, dark, and handsome. The most generic phrase one could use when it came to describing a man.

  “Guys, this is my brother, Sean. Sean this is Hailey and her friend Amber. She’s visiting from Chicago and has never been to an outdoors party before.”

  “Is that right?” Sean’s eyebrow rose with the random piece of information, and he shook our hands.

  “Yeah. Crazy, isn’t it?”

  Sean shrugged then shoved his hands in his pockets as the football the boys were throwing whizzed by his head and Coll slammed into him from behind.

  “Sorry, man.” Coll slapped his hand down on Sean’s shoulder, and Sean shrugged it off. If looks could kill, my neighbor would be a dead man smiling. “Should probably watch where I’m going, huh?”

  “Yeah. You probably should.”

  Sean stomped off. Coll shook his head, smiling after him before sitting down beside me. He picked up the football and threw it from his seat. I got a whiff of the hot musk wafting off him and noticed the sweat dripping from his temple and shining on his neck.

  “Pretty hot by this fire. I need some air. You wanna walk?” His breathing was labored. I found my breath had quickly caught up to match his when he turned his head to look at me.

  “Yeah, let’s walk.”

  I stood as he did and wiped off the seat of my pants. I had a hell of a time keeping up until I kicked off my flip flops. Once we reached the tide, I was finally able to appreciate the cool sand squishing between my toes and around my feet.

  “You do like I said?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Bake them my cookies.”

  “Your cookies, huh?”

  He smiled down at the water rushing across our feet, and I smiled at him.

  “Yeah. I baked them your cookies and you were right. They were a hit. Probably should have made some for the parents on conference day. Maybe if I do next time it’ll go better.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, you remember Kaylee? The sweet one?”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t think I told you before, but she’s a foster kid.”

  “Oh?”

  “And she might have to be sent back into the system. I don’t know what to do. I’m just really upset about it.”

  “Jesus, that sucks.”

  I nodded again, kicking a pile of shells. “Yeah, and this is the first foster family who’s been good to her. She’s come alive since she’s been with them. She’s thriving.”

  I stopped complaining long enough to peer at him. He looked just about as sad as I felt.

  “Sorry, I’m sure when you wanted to take a walk this wasn’t what you had in mind.”

  “No, it’s fine. I wanted to hear about your day, good or bad. I like knowing.”

  I smiled sadly at his profile before gazing down at my feet. Silence surrounded us until he cleared his throat.

  “So even though it went bad and you feel like your whole life is a mistake, you’re still gonna be here when I get back, right?”

  I glanced up to find him looking over at me. “Yeah. Why? You leaving tomorrow with Jason?”

  Looking down, he nodded. “First thing in the morning.”

  Disappointment flooded me in a wave not unlike the ones running over my feet. It always seemed like we’d make this progress then he’d have to leave and we’d start in a different place all over again. Always starting over.

  We walked a ways down the beach in silence, the backs of our hands brushing every now and again. I kept expecting him to grab and hold my hand, but he never did. Instead, he picked up one of the million small, broken shells that had washed up on the shore to repeatedly toss it up and catch it.

  “So, you and Russell,” he said, tossing the shell in the air.

  “Your brother.”

  He smiled and caught it.

  “You and my brother.”

  “What about us?”

  Toss.

  Catch.

  Toss.

  Catch.

  “So it’s true then. You are seeing my brother.”

  I smiled straight ahead, having had nearly the same conversation with his brother a couple days before.

  “I didn’t say we we’re dating. I just said ‘us.’ It’s the typical word you use to describe yourself and another person. I was simply asking a question. What about him? What about me? What about us?”

  He glanced over at me. “Are you or aren’t you? It’s pretty simple, as well.”

  Catch.

  Toss.

  Catch.

  Looking at him out the corner of my eye, I shook my head. “No. I’m not seeing your brother. I see him, but I’m not seeing him. Why would you think I was?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. First
the bar then the farmer’s market.”

  “You were at the farmer’s market?”

  “No.”

  “Then how—”

  “I was driving by. Saw you two talking.”

  “Well, people talk, you know. Look at what we’re doing now.” I smiled and gestured between us. “Doesn’t mean we’re dating, does it?”

  Did he want to?

  “I guess not. It’s just …”

  “It’s just what?”

  Tossing the shell up in the air again, he caught it. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

  Well, that wasn’t likely.

  “Tell me.”

  “No. I said forget it.”

  “And I said tell me.”

  Stepping in front of me, he stopped me by placing his palm against my stomach. “It’s just you were standing a little too close,” he said and stepped closer. To keep my nose from hitting his chest, I tipped up my chin and came face to face with him. He smiled before stepping back.

  “A little too close for my liking,” I thought I heard him say as he turned away to toss the shell up in the air and catch it again. He turned back to smile at me as I caught up. “You’re a real smart ass. You know that?”

  With my heartbeat in my ears and the sand sticking to my feet, I walked back with him, acting as if I couldn’t still feel where his hand had been touching my stomach.

  Once we reached the group, Jason called him over and I went in search of Amber, finding her still sitting with Sonia.

  The rest of the night passed by in a blur. Before I knew it, it was one o’clock in the morning and Amber was passed out on my lap.

  “You need help with that?” Coll asked.

  Glancing behind me at the stairs, I smiled up at him. “Please.”

  He picked Amber up with ease and threw her over his shoulder. He followed me up to the house and into my bedroom where we left my lush of a best friend before we both stepped back outside.

  “I’d say goodnight, but it’s morning and I’m leaving in two hours. Probably be useless to try and get some sleep, but you should,” he said, taking the stairs. “Being such a smart ass has to be exhausting.” He smiled, but I still couldn’t tell if he was aggravated with me or not.

  Standing at the top of the steps, I wrapped my arms around my middle as he shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked the dirt below.

  “This is usually the longest I’m gone all year. A few of us guys help out on the crabbers for extra cash.” He scratched his chin on his shoulder. “Not many are willing to do it.”

  “Because it’s so dangerous?”

  He tilted his head and shrugged. “That and it’s really fucking cold out there. Listen …” Pulling one of his hands out of his pockets, he ran it through his hair. “I don’t know how much down time I’ll have, but I was thinkin’ I could try and write. Ya know, if you want.” He shrugged. “I don’t have a cell phone. Can’t text. I could borrow one of the guys’, but that’d be a hassle. Payphones pretty much don’t exist anymore. I figure a handwritten letter is the next best thing.”

  It was better, actually. Never in my life had I received a handwritten letter that wasn’t passed under a desk in the middle of a classroom. And never from a guy.

  I realized I hadn’t said anything when he looked up.

  “Yeah. Definitely. I’d like that. Yeah,” I said, trying to sound cooler than I felt and most likely failing miserably, judging by the way he smiled down at the ground just before backing away.

  “Well, all right then.”

  Turning, he headed for his house, giving me a fixed wave just before disappearing inside.

  I was too wired to sleep but lay down beside Amber anyway. Eyes closed, she turned her head to face me.

  “You get a kiss goodnight?” She made kissy noises into the pillow.

  “No.”

  “Too bad. You want me to give you a kiss goodnight?”

  “No.”

  Sighing, she turned away, and I kissed her on the back of her head before dozing off myself. I woke the next morning to a new sense of wonderment followed by a sharp slap on the ass.

  “Wake up! There was a storm last night and it knocked out the electricity. You’re late!”

  Chapter Nine

  To my right, Amber sniffed, and it was useless to try and hold back the tears. Neither one of us had ever lasted through the “don’t-cry-during-the-sad-scene Steel Magnolias challenge.” Neither one. Not once.

  “Pass the tissues, would ya?”

  Grabbing a few myself, I handed over the box. Amber took it and practically lost her nose.

  The rain hit harder against the window as if it had lost the challenge as well. Either that or the sky really was broken and the clouds were here to stay. It had stormed off and on all week, pretty much confining us to the house. But the worst was still to come since Amber was leaving today.

  Sniffles could be heard between the raindrops hitting the car on the way to the airport. Our tears mixed with the water already staining our shoulders as we hugged goodbye, and I wiped more away as I watched my best friend since birth round the corner to board her plane. I was going to miss her. Having Amber here felt like home. I missed it. I missed my family. My other friends. Almost to the point where I crawled into one of Amber’s bags and stowed off to Chicago with her.

  But I was glad I didn’t. It was the very next afternoon I received the first letter.

  My stomach had rolled in anticipation every day that the mailman drove by. Or at least by the time I thought the mailman drove by. That was usually when I found the mail in the mailbox. I hadn’t actually seen the mail truck. I thought maybe I’d heard it once. Point being, there was definitely a mail truck that drove by at some point every day, except Sunday, and I had been anticipating it daily since Coll left. Which was silly because snail mail was slow. It took time. A week to be exact.

  I was driving home with a mouthful of double chocolate chunk. Wednesday had become official cookie day, and while the kids loved them, there were still a couple left over. If they kept it up things were going to have to change. Or maybe I just needed to make a few less cookies if I was going to end up eating the extra. God knew I didn’t need them.

  I was dead set on running when I got home. But when I pulled up to check the mail and found his letter hidden in a pile of bills and credit card offers, that plan flew right out the window. There was no need to exercise. My heart was already speeding and my lungs were already burning as if I already had.

  The envelope was long and stained with what I could only assume were dots of dried sea water. The salt sparkled in the sun, scratching across the crinkled parchment when I wiped my hand across the front. The blue ink bled and blurred to the point I could hardly read it.

  Sliding a finger under the flap, I stopped myself and sat it on the pile of mail in my passenger seat. I didn’t want to read it sitting in my car. I wanted to feel the breeze on my face and breathe in the smell of the ocean. Same as him when I imagined him writing it.

  I snuck glances at my seat as I drove down the driveway. My fingers were itching but I wanted to do this right. I wanted to savor it. Who knew if or when he’d write again? Who knew he would to begin with?

  I parked and unpacked my car same as I always did every day after school. I set the papers to be graded on my living room table along with my stickers and red pen to look over a few until the antsy feeling went away. But it wouldn’t. I couldn’t concentrate. Wouldn’t stop looking at the pile of mail sitting by the door.

  Throwing down my pen, I made a glass of tea before grabbing the letter and heading outside to try and relax on my porch swing. A few sips and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes to better appreciate how the wind blew lightly across my face before opening the envelope.

  The letter inside was just as stained with smudges of ink here and there. I skimmed the words once before sitting back to read them.

  Hailey,

  You probably heard we missed the worst of the
storm. A few of the guys got tossed around pretty good but nobody was thrown overboard, which makes for a promising start.

  Lowering the letter to my lap, I looked out over the bay and shook my head before continuing.

  I won’t tell you not to worry since I’m pretty sure you will anyway. Who knows, maybe you should. I kind of like it and I don’t know if you realized or not, but I still have your plate.

  I smiled despite the fact he wasn’t funny at all. Because he was right. I would worry. Now even more so because he didn’t tell me not to. What did he have? Some kind of sick sense of humor to better deal with the very real possibility he could die out there? Well, I didn’t appreciate it. And the next part only made me feel slightly better.

  In all seriousness, I meant to keep it. I figured you couldn’t actually leave until I gave it back, so I’m probably never going to.

  Anyway, we’re getting ready to set off. I’ll be sending this out next time we stop. Don’t worry about writing me back. It’s tough to stick to a schedule out here. I’d probably end up missing anything you sent by a day or two. And I just couldn’t have the not knowing weighing on me like that. The days are already long enough.

  Coll

  Glancing over the words again, I looked out over the bay, knowing exactly what he meant about the days feeling long.

  *

  “What do you want to do? Watch a movie?” Alyssa asked, flipping through the channels on my TV.

  I shook my head, eyeing the mail I’d brought in earlier. There was a letter in there. I saw it when I emptied out the mailbox, but couldn’t read it since Alyssa had followed me home after school. I didn’t dare open it in front of her out of fear that she’d ask a million questions and then try to read it. I knew she’d want to. But this just wasn’t something I was willing to share.

  “Okay. Well, you wanna go see a movie instead? You know how I love me a good, angsty love affair. I could go for some popcorn, too.” Alyssa practically drooled on the couch. “Extra butter.”

  Taking one last look at the pile of mail, I nodded. Amber had been gone a week and it didn’t look like I was going to be reading his letter anytime soon, so I could use another good cry-fest.